Sympathy For The Devil

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“He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?”

Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s amazing how much can happen in a week. Roommates move out unexpectedly, new friendships are made, bosses get fired, people steal from you, a chance meeting with Benicio Del Toro…it’s so funny when life does these things. Just when you think everything is upside down, it turns around again.

I was recently recounting to a friend, the amount of times I have “almost died”. There’s the time my cousin tried to drown me, the time I had an epileptic fit in a coffee shop in Amsterdam, the time I got jumped in an alley way on my way home from work…there’s obviously some reason I’m still here – I hope I can figure it out.

In the summer of 2003, a friend of mine from London came to visit me in St Louis. We decided to embark on a three-week long road trip from the midwest all the way to the west hitting Santa Fe, Vegas, Grand Canyon, San Diego, LA and San Francisco then looping down through Lake Tahoe, Reno and then onto Colorado.

Two days into the trip, I’m driving in New Mexico, with the Saturn on cruise control, just about to cross over the Arizona border, when the steering wheel suddenly locked and the car began to swerve out of control. I slammed on the breaks, causing the car to then flip a 180, on a two-lane interstate highway, with cars going 80mph. Every thing went into slow motion, the outside world became a blur and the car, which I still couldn’t get under control, was about to head under the back wheels of a semi-truck in the next lane.

In short, I was certain we were going to die. I was sure of it.

So, I impulsively just took my hands off the wheel, raised my arms in the air, looked at my friend and said, “I surrender”.

Remarkably, the truck missed our car (which seemed like it was driving itself at this point) and the shabby little black Saturn made it’s way to the other side of the road and stopped.

And so, Suzi and I lived to see another day.

It’s funny when you think of things that are sent here to test us in this life and it’s funny how sometimes when you surrender yourself to the unknown, things just have a way of working themselves out.

If you had told me, three weeks ago that a 12-year friendship I had with someone I was now living with, would have ended with her 1) stealing from me, 2)moving out and stealing from me again, 3)lumping me with double rent because her inner devil wanted time to breathe on its own and 4) her threatening me with a litigious battle – I wouldn’t have believed it.

Also, if you had told me some three weeks ago, that this was going to happen and I wasn’t going to absolutely freak out about it, I also wouldn’t have believed it.

AND, in addition, if someone had told me, even two weeks ago that through all of this I would have met a guy that I actually like and don’t want to rip-my-own-arm-off-so-I-have-something-to-throw-at-him-because-he’s-so-annoying, I still wouldn’t have believed it.

Ah, alas I guess life is constantly trying to push our boundaries of faith, eh?

It’s my birthday today. I’m 27. It really feels like I’m pushing on. 26 didn’t seem so bad. 27 is a tad too close to 30 for my liking. That said, a large portion of some of the coolest people I know are pushing 40 – so I guess it’s no biggie smalls.

So on this day, which really feels like just another snowy day in Boston, I’m trying to come up with a few reasonable goals to adhere to in my 28th year on this planet. I think these are pretty reasonable:

1)Publish some fiction. ANYTHING non-journalistic.

2)Learn to play the guitar

3)Drink less, laugh more

4)Be in control of my own emotions – do not let anyone else take that seat!

5)Do not scare new friends by running around their house with a drill like an extra from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

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